Not So Innocent Yet Innocent

A first-grade teacher, was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked the boy, "What is your problem?"

The boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She took the boy to the principal's office. While the boy waited at the reception of the office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told her he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions, he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him. He agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Boy: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Boy: "36."

So it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think this boy can go to the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions, can I ask him?" The principal and the boy both agree.

The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of, that I have only two of?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the teacher, the boy answered...

Boy: "Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy: "Pockets."

Teacher: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious, and contains thin whitish liquid?"

Boy: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

Boy: "Bubblegum."

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Boy: "Shake hands."

Teacher: "Now, I will ask some 'Who Am I' type of questions, OK?"

Boy: "Yep."

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

The principal's eyes opened really wide again, but before he could stop the boy from answering...

Boy: "A tent."

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."

Boy: "Wedding Ring."

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

Boy: "Nose."

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Boy: "Arrow."

Teacher: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?"

Boy: "Firetruck."

Teacher: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you don't get it, you have to use your hand?"

Boy: "Fork."

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense at this point. He took a sip of water, as the test continued...

Teacher: "What is it that all men have one of. It's longer on some men than on others, the pope does not use his, and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?"

Boy: "Surname."

Teacher: "What part of the man has no bones but has muscles, lots of veins, and loves pumping?"

Boy: "Heart."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher: "Send this boy to the University, I myself got all the answers wrong."